Jamie Walker

Every woman's experience is valid and uniquely her own. Hence, I cannot possibly speak to every Black woman’s experiences in relationships. My experience in relationships, for instance, has been significantly different from some of my greatest friends. And their experiences, of course, are different from their friends considering their past relationships, cultural influences, upbringing, and etc. I think that both Black men and women have had a hard time, at various stages in their life and development, finding their soul-mate, a mutually beneficial relationship, or egalitarian partner who shares their similar interests, desires, and goals. It doesn’t necessarily matter what sex anyone is. Of course, if we have not first healed some of our own issues first (before entering relationships seeking fulfillment and, ultimately, completion), we will never experience true happiness, be at peace with ourselves, or be able to finally attract what we really deserve: unconditional love. We will merely be attracting what we vibrate, projecting onto others in our immediate and external world what we have not first faced, healed, or admitted to ourselves and the God within. Black women (and men) must remember that one is a whole number and that it’s perfectly okay to get right with the God within first before recklessly pursuing external relationships seeking the kind of love that only we and the Creator can truly provide. If we have not first healed our own issues, we might not be able to recognize those "dates and potential partners" when they finally do show up in our lives because we will not be living in the present moment. I think that even though some of us have had a hard time or have been challenged in previous relationships, we must still be confident in Black men. I have a chapter in my book called "Support Black Men." Similarly, we must be careful not to feed into the man-shortage myth or that all Black men are either liars, cheaters, married, in jail, or gay. This is far from the truth. Black men, as Angie Stone sings, are beautiful, "strong brotha’s" and I love them just the same. Yeah, some may act up and may not do right, but there are women who ‘act up,’ too, and also bring loads of baggage to the table. There are several noble, honest, just, and handsome Black kings out there in the Universe waiting to finally find and establish a deep connection or bond with beautiful, loveable, complementary, and just queens.

I think that it is important for young girls to be involved in other organizations and support groups that help to aid in their own psycho, social, emotional, and physical development. I also think that Black girls need mentors and older Black women must realize that they are responsible to seeing to it that our girls are provided for and well-equipped to handle the likes of this racist, sexist, and capitalist economy; an economy that often teaches us that we are sex-objects, immediately replaceable, and not very valuable. to seek after the material. We need to help them to counter such negative images that they oftentimes receive from TV, the media, and misogynist music videos. We need to teach them that they are already full, that they are already enough, and there is a Divine, precious God and Spirit deep within them waiting to be acknowledged, unconditionally loved, and reborn.

There are a lot of organizations that cater to girls—of course depending upon their age level and common interests. I have a whole list of organizations for women and girls in the back of my book, but some of these organizations include: Girls, Inc; Big Brother/Big Sisters of America; The Brownies; Girl Scouts of the U.S.A.; the National Association for Girls and Women in Sports; the YWCA of the U.S.A.; Jack and Jill of America; and etc. There are also several programs available for girls through one’s local community organizations. Many Black churches, Black women’s book clubs, and Black women’s organizations also have special organizations and activities for the youth. One thing, however, that I think is missing in many of our communities is rites of passage programs for our young girls. We need rites of passage programs that will teach our young women how to love themselves unconditionally; cherish their sacred body temples; honor their precious voices; and dreams. Young girls must know that their destinies are not to be replaceable sex-objects. They are queens. They do not deserve to be treated as though they are the inferior sex or the piece of bubble gum trapped on the bottom of someone else’s shoe. They must be taught to walk tall and stand tall in the face of great crises and adversity. They must be taught that it is okay to cry, to feel, to love learning, and to want so much more than what they have been given. They need to know that their given circumstances do not have to hold them back, determine what they can do, be, or how much they can accomplish. Above all, they need to know that we, the community, are on their side and concerned about their overall progress and development. They need to know that we will stand up to protect and catch them when they fall, and that we will always continue to light their footsteps along the way.

5. how has your book been received

My book has been received very well by women (and men) of all ethnicities all over the world! There have been several people who have requested to read and review it as far away as Africa, Australia, Italy, London, and Canada. Similarly, several Black bookstores, Black librarians, and Black women’s book clubs have taken a profound interest in the book because it speaks to (and from) many of our varied experiences. The true stories, healing passages, and motivational chapters in the book serve as medicine to all of our souls. I think it’s been so well received simply because it is not one of those propagandistic, quick-fix, non-fiction or fiction books centering on "he said, she said." 101 Ways Black Women Can Learn to Love Themselves is also partly autobiographical and highly resourceful, drawing upon years of research, studies, and interviews I’ve conducted with other Black women who were on the path with heart. It includes an extensive recommended reading list, a list of organizations and websites, and a guide to historically black colleges and universities at the back of the book. What I find especially wonderful about the reception of the book is that it is not just Black women who are drawn to the title and would like to order "gift copies" for family or friends, but Black men and women of other races have also purchased copies of 101 Ways Black Women Can Learn to Love Themselves—simply because self-love is a universal need.

Yes, I am and I enjoy it. You know what’s interesting is that I have been touring with this book nearly three years before it was even released! It sounds impossible, but once I began writing the book, sharing my title and subject matter, I began receiving requests from bookstores, Black women’s book clubs, and conference organizers to come and speak about the book; my journey to self-publishing; or my mission to help to heal Black women throughout the Diaspora. I am touring with the book right now, although I can’t tour too much as it gets very expensive as a first-time author and self-publisher.

I am actually working on about four different books right now. One of them is a coming-of-age novel loosely based on my own life. The others include a children’s book; a book for black writers called The Black Writers Guide to Getting Published and Marketing Your Books; and an anthology on my friend and teacher, Dr. Sonia Sanchez. That anthology is entitled Sonia On My Mind: A Collection of Scholarly Essays and Literary Criticism. Dr. Maya Angelou is writing the preface and Dr. Joyce Ann Joyce is writing the introduction. I am also the creator of the Windows based directory CD called The 2003 Black Writers and Publishers Directory CD ™, which will include a list of African American bookstores; publishers; newspapers; magazines; distributors; and book clubs that can be searched by name, title, or state. Currently, I am looking for sponsors to help fund this located at www.jdpublishing.com.

I am a former actress, public speaking, and drama teacher originally from Oakland, California, but I currently reside in Washington, D.C. where I am finishing my Ph.D. in African American and Caribbean Literature at Howard University. I grew up in the Bay Area and studied Drama and Black Studies at San Francisco State University, where I graduated magna cum laude. I received my M.A. from Howard in African American and Caribbean Literature. I am the first and former trade book buyer for The Howard University Bookstore who has also purchased books for Moorland-Spingarn Research Center, and worked for a local audio-bookstore chain called "Talking Book World." I currently work in the Marketing Department at The Howard University Press, and I love it! My hobbies are reading, writing, graphic, and web design. I don’t have a favorite book although I read a wealth of all kinds of literature (e.g. spiritual, motivational, self-help, non-fiction, fiction, poetry, literary criticism, Caribbean literature, etc). I also love collecting rare books, used books, and treasured first-editions. My current project is trying to collect absolutely everything I can find from the Black Arts Movement and the 1960s.

My dream is for each and every one of us to embrace wholeness and self-actualization; to utilize our God-given talents and realize our limitless potential; to heal the wounds of our past; value ourselves (our precious voices, bodies, dreams, and soul); love ourselves unconditionally; and understand our link to other Black brothers and sisters throughout the Diaspora (especially within our very own communities) and to other individuals all over the world. I wish for Black women not to be afraid to finally do what the Creator has called and beckoned only us to do. My dream is for all of us to be absolutely free within our own lovable, Divine, and naturally Black, beautiful selves—absent of racism, sexism, propaganda, stereotypes, labels, and lies.

I look up to everybody. I really love Sonia Sanchez. But I also love bell hooks; Toni Morrison; Zora Neale Hurston; Alice Walker; Nella Larsen; Jamaica Kincaid; Maya Angelou; James Baldwin; Richard Wright; and several others. I read and study as many authors as I can, and have no personal favorites. I devour almost anything! The only kind of literature I can’t really stomach are the "he said, she said" type of fiction books. And I suppose that’s because that’s not really my genre. Many of the books are good--and funny, too! But some, you can tell, are just being put out by mainstream publishing houses because they think these are the only types of books that Black women like to read. I wish I could tell them that Black women like good non-fiction, spiritual, and motivational books, too! (smile) I wish they’d know that these books also sell. I know I do! There is a whole untapped market that mainstream publishing houses have yet to reach, and I hope to help to fill in this gap, these ‘holes’ within the publishing industry that so need to be filled.

There are so many writers who have influenced my own writing, career, and development over the years. When you re-read or go over some of the quotes and passages in my own book, you can definitely tell that I have been influenced by writers like Mari Evans and Gwendolyn Brooks; Zora Neale Hurston; Alice Walker; Audre Lorde, Maya Angelou; Claudia Tate; Amiri Baraka; David Walker; Frantz Fanon; Henry James; W.E.B. DuBois; and Booker T. Washington. I can see the influence of Wheatley; Hughes; Giovanni; Tubman; Sojourner Truth; and Maria W. Stewart, a nineteenth century Black woman abolitionist and prophetess. I can see so many of our beautiful Ancestor spirits (literary or otherwise) running through the likes of my own works, and this, of course, makes me feel proud. It makes me feel good to see other writers do the same thing, to try and uphold that great tradition of Black women’s writing. It also makes me feel proud to know that I am standing upon the shoulders of a mighty race, a rich African oral tradition that I can not only contribute to, but also praise, celebrate, and share.

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Jamie Walker is the author of 101 Ways Black Women Can Learn to Love Themselves: A Gift for Women of All Ages (Xlibris 2002) and the creator of www.jamiewalker.org. She can be reached directly through her email at jamiedwalker@yahoo.com

BBN will like to thank Jamie Walker for this interview and we wish her success with her book.